Tuesday, 15 April 2008
Monday, 7 April 2008
Kids are back at school after the Easter holidays, love them dearly but 6 hours without hearing "muuuuuuum" is wonderful! Have cleaned the floors and they have stayed clean! washed up a pile of dishes and they didnt reapear within seconds! I am singing along to my mp4 player and no one is complaining (well the dog is howling in the corner with his paws over his ears but thats my singing for you!)
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Does anyone else hate deleting photos from their camera even though you know they are backed up on the computer? Deleting cutes pics of my kids makes me feel bad!
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We're having snow and sunshine here, very strange, never know what you are going to see when you look out of the window!
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I sent someone a big parcel of new baby stuff when she had her baby, didnt even get a text to say thanks, I know its a busy time but not even to acknowledge the parcel? pah...
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I've ordered some egg boxes so I can give away the extra eggs the chooks lay! Will have fun designing labels for them later, I wanted the multi coloured egg boxes but really couldnt justify the cost, amazing what you can order from the net these days!
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Does anyone else hate deleting photos from their camera even though you know they are backed up on the computer? Deleting cutes pics of my kids makes me feel bad!
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We're having snow and sunshine here, very strange, never know what you are going to see when you look out of the window!
******************************************
I sent someone a big parcel of new baby stuff when she had her baby, didnt even get a text to say thanks, I know its a busy time but not even to acknowledge the parcel? pah...
******************************************
I've ordered some egg boxes so I can give away the extra eggs the chooks lay! Will have fun designing labels for them later, I wanted the multi coloured egg boxes but really couldnt justify the cost, amazing what you can order from the net these days!
Thursday, 3 April 2008
Monday, 31 March 2008
Saturday, 29 March 2008
Friday, 28 March 2008
stolen from email but so funny!
Why We Love Children
1. A nursery school pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead. 'How do you know that the cat was dead?' she asked her pupil. 'Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move,' answered the child innocently. 'You did WHAT?' the teacher exclaimed in surprise. 'You know,' explained the boy, 'I leaned over and went 'Pssst' and it didn't move'
2. A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later.....'Da-ad....' 'What?' 'I'm thirsty. Can you bring a drink of water?' 'No, You had your chance. Lights out.' Five minutes later: 'Da-aaaad.....' 'WHAT?' 'I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??' ' I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to smack you!!' Five minutes later......'Daaaa-aaaad.....' 'WHAT!' 'When you come in to smack me, can you bring a drink of water?'
3. An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him 'How do you expect to get into Heaven?' The boy thought it over and said, 'Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep
slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'' 4. One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her
son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, 'Mummy, will you sleep with me tonight?' The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. 'I can't dear,' she said. 'I have to sleep in Daddy's room.' A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: 'The big sissy.'
5. It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children's sermon. All the children were invited to come forward. One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down,
the minister leaned over and said, 'That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter Dress?' The little girl replied, directly into the minister's clip-on microphone,
'Yes, and my Mum says it's a bitch to iron.'
6. When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower. She said, 'Mummy, you are getting fat!' I replied, 'Yes, honey, remember Mummy has a baby growing in her tummy.' 'I know,' she replied, but what's growing in your bum?'
7. A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, 'Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine....' His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, 'What are you doing?' The little boy answered, 'I'm doing my math homework, Mum.' 'And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?' the mother asked 'Yes,' he answered. Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, 'What are you teaching my son in math?' The teacher replied, 'Right now, we are learning addition.' The mother asked, 'And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?' After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, 'What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four.'
8. One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class.
She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, '.... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said,
'The sky is falling, the sky is falling!' The teacher paused then asked the class, 'And what do you think that farmer said?' One little girl raised her hand and said, 'I think he said: 'Holy Shit! A talking chicken!'' The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.
9. A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter.' Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, 'I'm Jane Sugarbrown.' The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, 'Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?' She replied, 'I thought I was, but mother says I'm not.'
10. A little girl asked her mother, 'Can I go outside and play with the boys?' Her mother replied, 'No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough.' The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?'
11. A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She stands next to the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair cut, eating a snack cake.
The barber says to her, > 'Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your muffin.' She says, 'Yes, I know, and I'm gonna get boobs too.'
1. A nursery school pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead. 'How do you know that the cat was dead?' she asked her pupil. 'Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move,' answered the child innocently. 'You did WHAT?' the teacher exclaimed in surprise. 'You know,' explained the boy, 'I leaned over and went 'Pssst' and it didn't move'
2. A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later.....'Da-ad....' 'What?' 'I'm thirsty. Can you bring a drink of water?' 'No, You had your chance. Lights out.' Five minutes later: 'Da-aaaad.....' 'WHAT?' 'I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??' ' I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to smack you!!' Five minutes later......'Daaaa-aaaad.....' 'WHAT!' 'When you come in to smack me, can you bring a drink of water?'
3. An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him 'How do you expect to get into Heaven?' The boy thought it over and said, 'Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep
slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'' 4. One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her
son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, 'Mummy, will you sleep with me tonight?' The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. 'I can't dear,' she said. 'I have to sleep in Daddy's room.' A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: 'The big sissy.'
5. It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children's sermon. All the children were invited to come forward. One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down,
the minister leaned over and said, 'That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter Dress?' The little girl replied, directly into the minister's clip-on microphone,
'Yes, and my Mum says it's a bitch to iron.'
6. When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower. She said, 'Mummy, you are getting fat!' I replied, 'Yes, honey, remember Mummy has a baby growing in her tummy.' 'I know,' she replied, but what's growing in your bum?'
7. A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, 'Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine....' His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, 'What are you doing?' The little boy answered, 'I'm doing my math homework, Mum.' 'And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?' the mother asked 'Yes,' he answered. Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, 'What are you teaching my son in math?' The teacher replied, 'Right now, we are learning addition.' The mother asked, 'And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?' After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, 'What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four.'
8. One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class.
She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, '.... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said,
'The sky is falling, the sky is falling!' The teacher paused then asked the class, 'And what do you think that farmer said?' One little girl raised her hand and said, 'I think he said: 'Holy Shit! A talking chicken!'' The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.
9. A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter.' Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, 'I'm Jane Sugarbrown.' The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, 'Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?' She replied, 'I thought I was, but mother says I'm not.'
10. A little girl asked her mother, 'Can I go outside and play with the boys?' Her mother replied, 'No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough.' The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?'
11. A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She stands next to the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair cut, eating a snack cake.
The barber says to her, > 'Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your muffin.' She says, 'Yes, I know, and I'm gonna get boobs too.'
Thursday, 27 March 2008
We're going away for 3 days, its last minute and a free sort of holiday, friends of my dads who own a horse farm, the kids love, I tolerate it. We're taking our spoilt town pedigree pooch who has never seen a horse before, have no idea how he will interact with their dogs and worry that they will just let him out as they do with theirs, he wont last five minutes if they do which means I have to keep him on the lead for 3 days, fun-not. Trying to pack for 2 townie kids, my dad will making noises about how much stuff we take, he doesnt live with a menstruating teenager and a 6 year old with a bowel problem, so yes dad we do need all these clothes and toiletries and yes the dog does need his stuff and food if you dont want to listen to him bark all bloody weekend, can you tell I'm not exactly looking forward to this? I have to get neighbours to look after the chickens and worry the fox might bother them with no-one here during the day to chase them away, my mum is having the baby chicks who are not so small any more, quite noisy and a bit skittish, I dont think she will like it, why am I going away, this isnt relaxing...
Wednesday, 26 March 2008
Sunday, 23 March 2008
Farmer Palmers!
Yesterday we took our yearly Easter trip to farmer palmers, last year if you remember we sat in the sun in t-shirts, wore suncream and ate ice cream, this year? It snowed during the Easter egg hunt! The wind had a wind chill factor of what felt like 20 below. Lolly wrapped her long scarf around her head in the end! But we had fun, the animals were very cute and we petted and fed and wished we could sneak them out under our coat
We spent a lot of time in the heated barn, only got a quick go on feeding the lambs as there were so many people huddled in there!
Lolly had to prove her age with her bus card as they wouldnt give us a childrens ticket for her, I felt so old...
We spent a lot of time in the heated barn, only got a quick go on feeding the lambs as there were so many people huddled in there!
Lolly had to prove her age with her bus card as they wouldnt give us a childrens ticket for her, I felt so old...
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