Dumpling is off sick, first cold of the season, his breath smells awful, he's coughing and you could fry eggs on his forehead! Keeps getting little bursts of energy before coming over nauseous and going for a little lie down!

We have two lovebirds in a big cage taken in from a couple who were moving and couldnt take them with them, we have to keep them in one room and the kitten in another as he managed to launch himself from the floor onto the cage which is up on a stand. Although he is a good cat for sleeping at night, pooping in his tray or the garden, he definitely has an animal instinct, no boring spoilt house cat here and his appetite is ridiculous, he would eat all day long if allowed and has to be put outside when we feed nemo or he wouldnt get a look in!

Beautiful weather over the weekend, took dog and kids to the heath and my camera battery ran out, so annoyed with myself, the landscape was amazing, the light just perfect and I had to carry a dead camera around with me...

Still going like the clappers as my gran would say, trying to keep up with the many things I try and do, been gardening with my dad most evenings, trying to get it all done before the dark evenings come, although we cut back so many branches last night we have light in the evenings from the lamp post in the lane now!

(I just found £2 in my dressing gown pocket, can not think where it came from but very glad, things a little tight till Tuesday!)

Kids are currently doing their chores, tried not to get cross, just give them plenty of supervision and lead by example, its not like I'm sat on my ass eating bob-bons but I do point out to them as I go what I'm doing, the other day I wrote a list of everything I had done that day, surprised them and me!

Nemo is having his hair cut again next weekend, cant wait, he goes from scraggy, smelly dog to cute short haired puppy in a matter of hours, talking of hair cuts...

I had all my long hair cut off, sort of Katie Holmes layered bob! Would show you the pic if I could find my phone. I just snapped after many days of trying to dry it and it just looking a mess, long old hair that isn't the long soft swingy hair I had in my 20's, now it has a slight wave, is prone to dryness and just wont do what its told! so I told the girl above the shoulders, and layered through the ends as its so think and she did, very different, kids wernt sure at first but quickly got used to it, my dad didn't even notice!

Friday was supposed to have been a carefully scheduled day, I had jake in the morning, ben in the afternoon, run the cake sale at 2.45 and pick up a travel cot at 1.30, packing for the trip and making sure all the animals had people to pop in and feed them. What really happened was Jake cried and I couldnt put him down, when I went to pick up the cot from a freecycle advert the woman left her handbag and car keys on the doorstep and when she went inside the house to show Ben and I where the toilet was, someone stole her handbag. She then presumed it was me and left over 10 messages on my phone! To make matters worse, who ever did steal the handbag tried to use the cards at the shop round the corner from dumplingas school, her bank rang her! Then Ben was picked up by his mum and brother only to return within half an hour, their great grandma had collasped, could I look after the boys, feed them until their uncle could collect them? Umm, no I still have to pack, but yes of course I kept them. So I then had to shower and go to a birthday meal and pack at 6am the next morning, not my carefully planned out day!

so tired I feel sick, we managed to get up to the horse farm again at the weekend but it meant an early start saturday monring after going to my daughters friends 18th, Friday was a nightmare anyway, another story, so threw some things in a bag very early sat am and left the house with kids and dog at 7.15! Didnt get back from wales till 10.30 sunday night, and I sneezed and put my back out sunday morning! Been non stop, washing, cleaning, animals, pta, can barely keep my eyes open and speak coherently, I am going to bed at 8.30pm and sleeping till morning!

I'm sat in a kids play area with Lollys laptop, free wi-fi, didnt really need to bring it but the play areas free as the little boy I look after is a member so it seemed like to good an offer to pass up! Actually got some PTA emails done that I wouldnt have had time for later. Anyway, read this, made me laugh out loud, especially the last one about the zip up hoody as that exactly what I'm wearing!

Most of the time I just eat dinner as a way of justifying my desert, its nice and ok and stops me feeling hungry but I sometimes wish I could just take a pill that would have the same effect. I dont much like cooking, it can be fun when I'm in the food but doing it every day for the past 14 years has become a bore. My kids dont appreciate it, they would happily live on junk food and one or the other always claims "I dont like thatanymore"

But today I made a damn good spaghetti bolagnese with meatballs, I just had the bolognese and some potatoes as I cant eat pasta but the kids had the full works. And they didnt moan. And they ate it, and now they are stuffed and quiet and have sauce stained mouths! And I really enjoyed mine, made me realise how much I shovel food whilst on the pc with out even looking at my plate just trying to stop my tummy rumbling. Maybe I'll take a cooking course and learn some more and learn to enjoy food?

The finger is better but not without oral antibiotics which made me feel sick and dizzy (I'm allergic to penicillin, so had to have something else) and some cream that also treats 'dhobie itch', wasnt sure what that was and looked it up, wish I hadnt now...

Over run with PTA stuff, every small thing needs time, checking with various people and is exhausting when trying to run a family and pets too, I dont regret joining but had no idea how much work goes on behind the scenes to run what appear to be the simplest of fundraising events!

Trying to get the garden done before winter sets in but going to Wales this weekend, everytime I think I have spare time, something rushes in a fills it up!

Must go, have emails to write, letters to post, permission slips to fill and a dog to walk! x

ooooowwwww, cant type very well using all the wrong fingers as pointy finger on left hand has one of those infections you get down the side of the nail, hurts like crazy if I so much as brush it against something! Be back when swelling goes down!x

Feeling better today, still tired of telling the children the same things I tell them every day, you think it would have stuck by now? Have to remind myself of the saying that 'a piano doesnt stay tuned' meaning that with children it doesnt stick and you do have to keep on telling them and showing them what to do, frustrating but neccessary! Serious laziness on their parts but in a childs head it like a game to see how much they can get away with, only adults get that sense of satisfaction from doing a job properly. For example the cat poo-ed in the bathroom, no idea why, he's never poo-ed anywhere but the litter box before, I told Lolly it was her cat and she could clean it up, now bear in mind its right by the loo on top of a magazine (yes, I'm a toilet reader, dont judge me) and there are baby wipes nearby, so you think she would scoop up the poop with a wipe, flush and then throw the magazine away in the outside bin? no, dont be silly, she just picked up the magazine and dropped the whole lot into the bathroom bin! So I come in and am gagging at the smell, thinking he must have done it again and she cleared it up, nope it the smell of aforementioned poop in the open bin beside the sink. What do you do?

Identity

Having a mild bout of the blues, no particular reason, just the rainy weather, lack of money and the evenings drawing in, feel like I've been cheated out of my summer! Really annoyed that we never got to even put up the tent we bought in the sales! I need to spend some time adjusting my thought patterns, I once got an email that I should dig out that said instead of moaning that you have to clean your house, be grateful you have one to clean, there are so may things in that vein that i need to think about.Years ago I would have gone to the doctor and asked to be put on a mild course of anti depressants but i much prefer to attack this cognitively, I know myself well enough to know if I really did need medication and so far I dont. One thing I realised late last night as I put away a few things was that I'm so much a mum and child carer that I really have lost sight of me. My parents and grandparents always say the same thing, they are very proud of how much I dedicate my life to my kids and others but they always say to look after myself as well, I shrug and say I'm fine, I've forgotten what i do for fun anymore. I looked around my house after watching some detective programme where they figured out they guy they were looking for by the contents of his house, I wondered what someone could figure out about me and realised not much. Apart from my camera by the pc, I couldnt find much trace of me. Pictures of the kids at the beach, horse riding and playing in the garden, toys for every age, arts and crafts, nothing gave any hint to me. So its on my to-do list to remember what I do and some way of showing it!