Saturday mornings

My children and I have very different ideas about what saturdays entail, I like to have a small lay-in, maybe 9am 9.30 at the latest but C idea of a lay-in stretches way past noon and longer if she wasnt yelled at 3 or 4 times. Now we usually catch the bus to shop in a town two towns over, grab a burger and a pointless toy that will languish in the bottom of my bag for weeks till I throw it out, shop around for things we dont really need but its the pound shop, how can we resist? But before we set off on this merry jaunt, I'd like all three of us to be smelling fresh, dressed nicely, I'm not talking sunday best here but C dragged a very crinkled pair of jeans out of her ironing pile and declared them 'not too bad', see what I'm up against here? I'd also like the house to not illicit groans of despair when I walk back in, washing up down, the hoover ran around, a load of laundry in the machine, just normal stuff so we can flump down when we get back, read the paper, watch a dvd etc and not have to think too much about housework, it just makes for a relaxing teatime and pleasant evening, now that doesnt seem to unreasonable does it and with three of us being quite capable of all the above it shouldnt be too hard? So explain to me why I was last in the shower, yet am fully dressed, make up on, contact lenses in (thats no mean feat, 2 years I've been wearing them now and still cant do my right eye first time!) I've loaded the dishwasher, washed up the non dishwasher stuff, hoovered, put laundry in, put laundry away even done some ironing and where are the children, still faffing around upstairs, its 1.30pm and we havnt even left the house yet! grrrrrrrr.....

Anyway as I was yelliung words of encouragment up the stairs, I realised that every family has its own vocabulary that no one else would understand, for instance, Jude loves his froggy kandoo soap dispenser so when ever he showers he has to be reminded that letting the water just run over you doesnt get the smell away! So we say 'have you kandoo-ed your bum?', which has been shortened to 'did you kandoo?' 'are you sure you kandoo-ed?' 'dont forget to kandoo!' what phrases do you have in your family that make perfect sense to you but nothing to others!